I have a quote that keeps me sane at the moment, and it is “Build your own dreams or someone else will hire you to build theirs” – Farrar Gray. The reason this quote is so important to me is I am starting out on the road to self-employment this year. However, I have hit a stumbling block that just is not leaving me.
I love writing – when it is fun.
Words just flow from my finger tips in the same way they do from my lips (I love speaking too!) but why is it, as soon as I open up my business plan documents, I suddenly need to clean the entire house from top to bottom and start looking for more and more ridiculous tasks to keep me ‘busy’? I have my quote in front of me now, I read it and feel it and absorb it and want it and crave it and covet it! But stick me in front of my business plan and I suddenly want to be anything other than self-employed. I know I’m not alone in this, as there are great articles and resources for us right brain doers, but there’s no getting away from the need to get over this left brain writers block I have.
Perhaps part of it is the fear of having my ideas judged unfavourably, but I know I have the ability to sell sand to the Sahara. Perhaps also it is my own fear of failure, but I know I don’t fail, I just find creative ways of succeeding. Maybe also, it is a fear I will be judged myself. I am a single parent, I have five children, wouldn’t I be better off in a safe, guaranteed job with safe, guaranteed pay? Well, yes, maybe that would be the case, and maybe it wouldn’t. Nothing is guaranteed.
So, today I am sitting surrounded by sheets of paper that have the ‘clues’ I need to write my plan, along with written documents that serve little more than to create a question mark over my head, and once again, I find something else more interesting to do, this blog, the laundry, making breakfast, washing the car…