Ok I am the first to admit I am a routine junky. In part it is because I am a parent, but most of it is to do with learning differences and the coping strategies I have put in place to help me function ‘normally’. You know those people who have post its all over the place to remind them of things? Well, that’s the same sort of thing, except for me I need all my ‘post its’ to be in one or two very safe places. I am, by difference, a very organised person, but still prone to leaving keys/purse/boots/phone in unusually random places, despite each of these items having a very specific home.
So, today I am playing catch up as my weekend’s organisation was slightly (very) thwarted by an arrangement I wasn’t aware of yesterday. People who know me well will know I need to be very clear about arrangements, and may well ask for the same details in a number of different ways, just to ensure my brain has processed it all correctly (my youngest daughter and son are both just the same, which can be frustrating for those who get fed up with the being asked for the same information over and over again). So, a passing suggestion will remain so until I have digested it, talked about it, mulled it over, and agreed to it. So, this passing suggestion happened yesterday, and it was a lovely day for it, even though it messed up my OCD type organisation for the weekend. See, even I can cope with changes! Most of the time.
What brought me to mention this was a question I have been asked ‘How do you cope with time away from your favourite person?’ Well, that’s something I do on a daily basis, so actually thinking about how I cope means a trip back to the days of old when I learnt how to deal with those sorts of separations. I am talking about my children of course. So, each time one of them started school I have had to deal with a new form of ‘missing’ to cope with that particular person. As they are all different, they have all required a slightly adaption to the change, usually brought on by their own adaption to the change. My youngest son found leaving me very difficult so there were plenty of tears to deal with, whereas my middle son, after the first day or two, walked off without batting an eyelid. Needless to say, I found it harder to cope with my youngest son’s misery, than my middle son’s delight at new adventure.
Now we are all dab hands at saying good-bye in the morning, and there are no more tears, although having a houseful of teenagers means there are lots of bleary eyes and moans. But they’re old enough to know I’ll give them the usual ‘maybe you need to go to bed earlier/get your homework done sooner/eat something sensible for breakfast’ as lets face it, you can’t really tell teenagers anything. It doesn’t mean I don’t miss them, as I still do, it just means I have got used to being apart from them. That time will carry on increasing as they get older and move away from home, but I am sure I will always miss them, no matter where they are, and how long they are away for. But oh imagine the peace…and the tidiness…every cloud has a silver lining. 😉