Category Archives: Planning

Yes, They Are All Mine.

And no, they don’t have different dads.

Over the years I have had many a strange look from the general public while out with my brood.   When they were younger we did take on the appearance of the Pied Piper with a gaggle of little rugrats trailing behind, but these days it is much less likely that we are out all together, so I had forgotten the age old questions and stares.    These days, the only regular evidence I have of them is my huge trolley full of food as I make my way around my local Aldi store once a week.   Perhaps mildly more offensive than the sidelong stares have been the comments regarding their parentage, although in all honesty, you’d have to be blind not to see the family resemblances in them all.  And, what does it matter anyway? The is reality, most people have been happy to see my small tribe, and even more so when they have spent time with them and observed their relatively good behaviour.

So, today is weekly trolley dash day.  I have got into the habit of planning meals for the week and writing shopping lists as it really helps when you’re on a budget.  I work out before hand how much I can afford to spend each week, and plan meals accordingly.   This means having to know at 6am on a Wednesday morning what food I’ll need for the week, so that I am ready to head to the supermarket as early as my youngest will allow (ie, when she’s gone to school).   Keeping children fed is a bit of a mission, as is keeping clothes clean and the house liveable.   I have realised that to manage all that, on top of my own work means I am up half an hour earlier now, than I was when I was at university full time.   It is just as well I am a workaholic, and that I enjoy it!  😀

Possibly the strangest thing of all in this house full of teenagers is how quiet it often is.  They are all so busy doing their own thing/working/studying/at college and school that it is easy to forget they were ever charging around screaming and shouting, or that I ever had to herd them all up and get them into the bath and bed.  Sometimes I miss the hustle and bustle of small children.  But mostly, I don’t.  (Peace mannn….).

So, yes, they are all mine, and my cupboards and refrigerator are full again, but not for long.


Can’t Do It, Wont Do It.

I was going to be all grown up and set out my goals for the year, but I can’t.  I feel that writing them down will jinx them, and will also somehow prevent me from doing other things as well.   Last year I set out to graduate, which I did, and I also did a whole load of other stuff besides.    This year I am doing the same sort of open book/blank page type of thing.  Don’t get me wrong, I have a list of things I want to accomplish, but I do find as soon as I have written them down, the power has somehow dissipated and I am more likely not to do them.   But saying all that! I did put the word ‘Bless’ in my art journal yesterday, having said I would.  So it isn’t impossible that I can’t set out a promise to myself.   I have just realised I am less likely to do something if I verbalise it too.    I am now wondering why that is…maybe I am just good at keeping things under wraps, but maybe, as I said the other day, I am just afraid of failing and would rather say nothing that disappoint myself.

That sounds about right.

When Writing Isn’t Fun.

I have a quote that keeps me sane at the moment, and it is “Build your own dreams or someone else will hire you to build theirs” – Farrar Gray.  The reason this quote is so important to me is I am starting out on the road to self-employment this year.  However, I have hit a stumbling block that just is not leaving me.

I love writing – when it is fun.

Words just flow from my finger tips in the same way they do from my lips (I love speaking too!) but why is it, as soon as I open up my business plan documents, I suddenly need to clean the entire house from top to bottom and start looking for more and more ridiculous tasks to keep me ‘busy’?    I have my quote in front of me now, I read it and feel it and absorb it and want it and crave it and covet it! But stick me in front of my business plan and I suddenly want to be anything other than self-employed.   I know I’m not alone in this, as there are great articles and resources for us right brain doers, but there’s no getting away from the need to get over this left brain writers block I have.

Perhaps part of it is the fear of having my ideas judged unfavourably, but I know I have the ability to sell sand to the Sahara.  Perhaps also it is my own fear of failure, but I know I don’t fail, I just find creative ways of succeeding.  Maybe also, it is a fear I will be judged myself.  I am a single parent, I have five children, wouldn’t I be better off in a safe, guaranteed job with safe, guaranteed pay?  Well, yes, maybe that would be the case, and maybe it wouldn’t.  Nothing is guaranteed.

So, today I am sitting surrounded by sheets of paper that have the ‘clues’ I need to write my plan, along with written documents that serve little more than to create a question mark over my head, and once again, I find something else more interesting to do, this blog, the laundry, making breakfast, washing the car…